"…is that a cardboard cutout of Thor?"
"HE HAD A THING NOW DO YOU WANT THE DAMN DORITO OR NOT"
I Don’t Know How Much Vodka I Put In This But I’m Going To Drink It Anyways: a memoir
This drink tastes awful, but I can’t waste alcohol: a sequel
I’ll drink half and then add more mixer: the stunning conclusion
"Who wants to be a millionaire?" Me. This game is easy. Next question.
Childhood movies taught me the most important thing of all: parents aren’t always right and they don’t always know what’s best for you.
look how many notes this thing has
It’s no use, kid. You can’t go around trying to bring every living creature that dies on you back to life, Edward. It’s not possible and it’s not healthy. Anyway, who would you be helping by bringing back a malformed chimera? It’s an ugly world out there and from here on out, it’s only gonna get uglier on the path you’ve chosen. Just be thankful it wasn’t you and get on with your life.
…oh my god.
"It’s no use, Roy. You can’t go around trying to bring back every person you’ve lost or killed, it’s not possible and it’s not healthy. Anyway, who would you be helping by bringing back hundreds of nameless victims in a war that’s long-cold? It’s an ugly world out there and from here on out, it’s only going to get uglier on the path you’ve chosen, the path you’re leading Edward down for your own ambition. Just be thankful he wasn’t murdered due to your stupid mistake, keep him at a distance and keep him safe and get on with your life.”
If you think about it Ursula was actually really nice because she only promised Ariel legs, and she gave her really nice legs that matched her body type and skin color when she could have just as easily given her goat legs
i want to be rebellious but i dont want to get in trouble
made rebloggable for the masochistic anonErin, not only ripping out the hearts of fangirls but crushing them with meat grinder for extra enjoyment
anita just gets me
erin what the fuck
I’m pretty good at cooking i can make a mean chicken
He kept himself amused and really made others confused.
I HAVE THREE WORDS THAT WILL BRING JOY TO YOUR HEART:
little league quidditch
#all brooms fly like 3 feet off the ground#the bludgers are stuffed animals#keepers often get distracted by clouds#the seekers are better at playing tag than catching the snitch#games are over when it’s naptime